In this roller coaster that we are always on in life, the lows tend to be…monotonous. Nothing is forever, that we know. Happiness is just as temporary as sadness but you ever feel like, “okay, I get it. Can I move on?” Whenever I want to have a one person self-pity party, theres a song that always pops in my head. ‘It’s my party (and I’ll cry if I want to)’ by Lesley Gore.
There is probably no better line to define our (at least mine) self indulgent times in life. ‘I’m sad, I’ll be mopey all I want to’. As if having a theme song for my pity parties weren’t enough, I totally harness a Bridget Jones alter ego pretty darn well. You know the scene, in the beginning where she’s let herself go. Laying on a couch for hours - or days, in pajamas, drinking; singing the crap out of another song about being alone. It isnt til after that, that my beloved mother will ever so lovingly say “your hair isn’t done, are you depressed? Why don’t you have makeup on? Go look in the mirror and figure out whats wrong with you because you look terrible” (true words)
And as those words are blunt, they’re also true. Now in my adult life, I can see the humor in those scenarios and laugh as I walk to a mirror. (Sometimes it’s literal, sometimes it’s figurative)
There’s a weird thing about knowing when your at a low point in your life. You know you’re there, you know it will pass. You probably have a filing cabinet in your brain of every other article you’ve read about ‘how to deal with (fill in the blank)’ but you throw everything out the window just to feel a bittersweet moment of sadness/worry/doubt/fear/hopelessness, the list goes on.
And yes, while you’re crying at your own ‘party’; everyone is out without you. And yes, they are having more fun
But please remember, this low will turn to a high soon. Whatever it is you’re feeling now, let yourself feel it. The sadness, anger, fear, etc..
Stay with it, Stay with yourself. If you push it away and ignore it, you won’t allow yourself to get past it. And you do not want that bad juju stored up inside. And after that, you’re on your way to a new high! And hopefully when the next low hits, the self-pity parties won’t be so long. You deserve to have just as much fun as anyone else, and there are better parties to attend ;)
Living in pink,